Self-Control in the Midst of Conflict
Can you recall times in your life when you’ve lost control of your emotions? Perhaps it happens more often than you’d like to admit. We’ve all had heated moments where we’ve reacted out of anger or pain, often provoking others and dragging out arguments. What guidance do the Scriptures give us in these situations?
In the book of Genesis, we read about Jacob’s son, Joseph. Joseph was a passionate young man who was given amazing dreams by God. In his excitement and immaturity, he shared these dreams with his brothers who were already annoyed with and jealous of Joseph because he was their father’s favorite son. Their hatred of Joseph eventually reached the point where they decided to get rid of him. They pushed him down a pit, sold him into slavery, and convinced their father that Joseph had been killed by a wild animal. Joseph was taken to Egypt where he was later falsely accused of a crime and thrown into prison.
While Joseph faced many trials and tribulations—betrayal, loss, being lied about, etc.—God used those difficult situations to bring Joseph to the place where he could be used to accomplish God’s will. Through a series of miraculous events in prison, Joseph was given the opportunity to directly connect with the Pharaoh. And through that contact, Joseph was given authority over all of Egypt. While God orchestrated these events to bring Joseph to this place, these events also served to help Joseph grow in maturity and wisdom.
After several years, a famine had spread over all the land. And once again, God orchestrated this event for His purposes. This famine caused Jacob to send Joseph’s brothers to buy grain from Egypt, and there they encountered Joseph. But, after so many years, they didn’t recognize him. Not yet revealing his true identity to his brothers, Joseph ordered them to bring Benjamin—Joseph’s full brother, the only other son of his mother Rachel—to Egypt. When they arrived again with Benjamin, Joseph was overwhelmed with emotion:
And he lifted up his eyes and saw his brother Benjamin, his mother’s son, and said, “Is this your youngest brother, of whom you spoke to me? God be gracious to you, my son!” Then Joseph hurried out, for his compassion grew warm for his brother, and he sought a place to weep. And he entered his chamber and wept there. Then he washed his face and came out. And controlling himself he said, “Serve the food.” (Genesis 43:29-31)
Can you imagine the flood of emotions Joseph must have felt in this moment? Reconnecting with his family likely brought about immense joy mixed with anger and the ache of betrayal. He was glad to see them, but he most likely still dealt with painful memories of being hated and abandoned. Noticing that he was getting overwhelmed, and not wanting to ruin this chance to reconcile with his family, he excused himself so that he could find “a place to weep.” Indeed, he didn’t ignore or suppress his emotions as if they didn’t matter. He simply chose not to be mastered by them. After removing himself from the situation until he could regain control of his emotions, Joseph was able to return to the company of his brothers without causing any drama.
We’ve all been in sensitive situations where emotions were running high. The lesson here is not that we should bottle our feelings, which certainly wouldn’t be healthy or biblical. Rather, we ought to ask God to help us recognize when we’re about to be pushed beyond what we can handle emotionally. And in those heated moments, when we feel like we are about to fall off the edge, we are to practice self-control, a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:23). A practical way we can do that is to do what Joseph did—that is, step away from the situation for a short time. After we vent, weep, pray, or do whatever we have to do in private to regain control, we can then return to resolve the conflict peacefully.
So next time you find yourself in a heated argument or some other conflict, as you recognize that you’re about to lose control, step away. Go into another room. Take a deep breath and trust the Lord to help you. And then come back when you can address the situation with wisdom and shalom.
I am a follower of Yeshua (Jesus) the Messiah, and I believe the Torah (the Law of Moses) remains relevant for God’s people today and should still be obeyed. So does that make me part of the Hebrew Roots Movement? There are two reasons why it does not.
The Bible mentions several books that have been lost to history. One of these is the Book of Jasher, meaning “one who is upright.” Over the centuries, this book has sparked much curiosity. Some today even argue that it has been rediscovered and ought to be included in the Bible. This article explores what we know about the Book of Jasher and evaluates claims that it has been rediscovered.
Did Paul reject the ongoing relevance of the Sabbath and festivals prescribed in the Torah? Many cite Colossians 2:16–17 as proof that he did. However, a growing body of scholarship calls that interpretation into question. Scholars point out that the illegitimate judgment directed toward Colossian believers came from ascetics who did not observe the biblical calendar. Drawing on this scholarship, I argue that Colossians 2:16–17 does not invalidate the Sabbath and festivals but instead affirms their value.
Have you ever asked God, “What is your will for my life?” If you have, you might be encouraged to know that Scripture already offers a direct (though often overlooked) answer to that question.
The Epistle to the Hebrews offers biblical evidence that the Holy Spirit is both fully divine and a distinct person. Within the epistle, the author identifies the Spirit as “eternal,” presents the Spirit as speaking God’s words as recorded in Old Testament quotations, and yet also distinguishes the Spirit as a separate agent from the Father and the Son. This article examines several references to the Spirit in Hebrews and shows how the author’s depiction is consistent with the Trinitarian understanding of the Holy Spirit as fully God and personally distinct from both the Father and the Son.
This study demonstrates that Luke presents the earliest followers of Jesus as steadfast Sabbath observers, challenging the common assumption that they abandoned or disregarded this practice. By closely examining the references to the Sabbath in Luke’s Gospel and Acts, it is observed that Luke consistently depicts Sabbath worship as a standard practice among Jewish and Gentile believers. This portrayal suggests that the earliest followers of Jesus did not believe the Sabbath had been abrogated but saw it as integral to their faith and community life. These findings invite modern Christians to reconsider the relevance of Sabbath observance in their own spiritual lives. By highlighting the continuity between Judaism and the emerging Christian movement, this study contributes to scholarship on early Christian identity and practice, portraying the earliest followers of Jesus as a movement within Judaism.
Is marital intimacy on the Sabbath a violation of the commandment to keep the seventh day holy? That depends on who you ask.
In 2 Peter 3:15-17, Peter warns that Paul’s letters contain content that is “hard to understand” and which “the ignorant and unstable” misinterpret. He then connects the mishandling of Paul’s letters to “lawless people.” In this article, I will argue that 2 Peter 3:15-17 represents Peter’s warning regarding antinomians (individuals who reject God’s law) misinterpreting passages in Paul’s letters to advocate for lawlessness.
The expression “law of Christ” appears only two times in the New Testament. In Galatians 6:2, Paul urges his readers to fulfill “the law of Christ” (τὸν νόμον τοῦ Χριστοῦ). Similarly, in 1 Corinthians 9:21, Paul states that he is “under/in the law of Christ” (ἔννομος Χριστοῦ). Traditionally, interpreters have frequently understood this expression to refer to a new “law” or ethic that supersedes the law of Moses. However, as Todd Wilson notes, there is a “growing scholarly consensus” that “law of Christ” directly refers to the law of Moses in some sense. This article makes a case for interpreting the phrase “law of Christ” in Galatians 6:2 and 1 Corinthians 9:21 as a reference to the law of Moses as it is taught and exemplified by Christ.
Is the Messiah God? The first chapter of Hebrews presents compelling evidence that he is. In this chapter, the author highlights the Son’s role as the creator and sustainer of the universe, emphasizes the Son’s divine essence, proclaims that the Son is worthy of the worship that belongs only to God, and explicitly identifies the Son as “God” and “Lord/YHWH.” In order to demonstrate each of these points, this article conducts a detailed exegesis of Hebrews 1 and answers objections from unitarians.
Jubilees is a fascinating book that provides a window into the world of Second Temple Judaism. However, instead of appreciating it for what it is, a few teachers on the Internet exaggerate its significance and consider it to be inspired Scripture. This article provides an overview of the Book of Jubilees and explains why it is not Scripture.
Does the Bible teach that Yeshua the Messiah is divine? Philippians 2:5-11 is a central text that speaks to this question. In this passage, Paul teaches that the Messiah existed as a divine figure prior to his human conception, bears the name YHWH, and is rightfully given the reverence and allegiance that belongs to YHWH alone.
In Ephesians 2:15, Paul wrote that Christ broke down the wall of division between Jew and Gentile “by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances.” But what does Paul mean by this phrase? Is Paul saying that Christ abolished the Law of Moses, or something else?
In recent days, progressive Christians have claimed that Leviticus 18:22 does not mean what it plainly says. I want to address their objections in this article.
Did Jesus reject the Torah’s dietary laws? Many say that he did, citing Mark 7:1-23 as proof. In this article, I will explain the problems with the traditional interpretation of this passage and offer an alternative view that presents a more consistent and accurate portrayal of Jesus’s teaching.
Solberg complains about Pronomian theology causing "division" in the body. However, mischaracterizations like this are what actually undermine the unity that should be shared among thoughtful Christians on all sides of this debate.
Does Peter call Jesus “God” in 2 Peter 1:1? When we examine this verse from a grammatical standpoint, it is evident that he does.
Is the Torah (Law of Moses) relevant to Christians today? Many modern Christians say no. Jesus says yes.
I’ve been reading some scientific studies on the psychosocial impact of polygamy (in particular, the form of polygamy known as polygyny, that is, a husband having two or more wives). Modern-day advocates for polygamy argue that this practice benefits families and society, but the scientific data tells a different story. The harmful effects of polygamy on the well-being of men, women, and children are striking.
One fundamental theological principle revealed in the Genesis creation accounts is that marriage, as God intended it, is to be monogamous. The rest of the Bible, especially the New Testament, upholds this marital form as the ideal standard.
How do we make sense of the Torah’s polygamy regulations in light of the Bible’s overall condemnation of this practice?
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). If you just read that verse out loud, then you might hear a faint, high-pitched noise. That sound is every feminist worldwide shrieking about how Christianity oppresses women. But is this instruction in Ephesians really oppressive toward women?
Did Jesus exist before he was conceived in Mary’s womb? This article looks at a passage from Jude that may shed some light on that question.
Justin Best of the popular J. Breezy YouTube channel (formerly Christian Truthers) said he is “questioning the authenticity of the NT [New Testament] and the existence of a historical ‘Jesus’ character.” This article will look at and answer some of his claims.
There are a lot of questions that arise from such a scandal. This article is just my attempt to work out my own questions and reflect on what lessons we can and must learn from this tragic situation.
Modern society has invented its own means of defining morality and carrying out justice apart from God’s ways. How do we determine right from wrong? By whatever is culturally trendy, of course! How do we punish those who transgress society’s ever-changing and inconsistently enforced standards? Cancel Culture!
Is Christ the Creator or was he created? The Trinity doctrine states that there is one God who exists eternally as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. This article will demonstrate the biblical validity of this doctrine in regard to the Son. While Yeshua is fully man, the Bible teaches that he is also fully God.
The Bible instructs us not to get jealous over others’ success but to “rejoice with those who rejoice.”
A recent study has found that 44% of self-identified Christians in America said they believe the Bible is “ambiguous in its teaching about abortion.” What this study actually reveals is that many self-identified Christians either don’t read the Scriptures or don’t know how to handle them rightly (2 Timothy 2:15).
About David Wilber
David is first and foremost a passionate follower of Yeshua the Messiah. He is also a writer, speaker, and teacher.
David’s heart is to minister to God’s people by helping them rediscover the validity and blessing of God’s Torah and help prepare them to give an answer to anyone who asks about the hope within them (1 Peter 3:15)…
David Wilber
David Wilber is an author, Bible teacher, Messianic/Christian apologist, and joint CEO of Pronomian Publishing LLC. He has written several books, including his most recent work, "Remember the Sabbath: What the New Testament Says About Sabbath Observance for Christians." In addition to his books, David has written numerous theological articles for various publications and websites. David lives in Lake Wylie, SC, with his wife and two children. His articles and teachings can be found at DavidWilber.com.
Recently, R. L. Solberg published a teaching offering a reinterpretation of Acts 15. Solberg is a popular YouTuber whose ministry is devoted entirely to trying to convince Christians that the Law of Moses no longer serves as an authoritative standard for Christian ethics. I wanted to put together this brief article highlighting several of his claims that are contradicted by the text.